I have moments where I think about my life today as compared to the dreams that I had when I was growing up. Everyone does it, I think. And often the daydreams can contrast sharply with the reality.
I work in the real estate investment business. But if you had asked me 20 years ago what I wanted, I can assure you that real estate would not have been the answer. I had aspirations of living in Hollywood – first it was movies, later it was music. And when I decided to go to law school and become a lawyer, it was with the idea that such profession could help me to get there. And in the few years that I did practice, I was arguably on the fringe of the periphery, but never close enough that it got me juiced to wake up in the morning and go to work. So, I zigged instead of zagged, changing the trajectory of my professional life and opting for something else that piqued my interest.
Still, there are days (and sometimes entire weeks) where I think about that other life. It’s not always clear what triggers these mental exercises, but they do show up unannounced from time to time. Lately has been one of those periods. I offer no explanation for the timing. But where it used to bring me down a bit, it has not become overwhelming in the same way anymore. Maybe I am better able to take solace in knowing that I have made a career for myself that is still interesting and sometimes challenging. And, if my checklist of goals comes to fruition in 2013, in the manner that I think it might, a lot of what the childhood fantasies represented are still on the table.
More than anything, I want a career where I hold some measure of control over my fate, rather than just being a supporting character in someone else’s show – to have a stake in the outcome, a piece of the pie, and to feel invigorated by honoring the entrepreneurial spirit. I’ve done it somewhat already, but there is still work to do. I think there are new opportunities waiting, I just need to pursue them and not give up. As with anyone else who has a dream and a goal.
Maybe the point of this post was to remind myself of those things, to capture the sentiment for moments later when I feel a little less certain. We’ll see what comes to pass in the next calendar year.
